What’s one positive trait you’ve gained because of BPD?
Last Updated: 02.07.2025 10:52
But it wasn’t much.
He’d bring us out ,and we would form the position .
And as she herself ,wasn’t kissed or touched as a child.
Eyeglasses With Built-In Hearing Aids: This Just Makes Sense - WSJ
Due to the real legacy of trauma (B.P.D)
This is how, and why children get BPD.
One cannot hold on to bitterness.
I only knew my twisted world , and there, is no choice for a child but to live in it. Or Die in it!
Stress hormones Adrenaline and Cortosol ,would have flooded my brain, and they never left it!!!!
We all went to grammer schools
Danny Boyle Says He Couldn’t Make ‘Slumdog Millionaire’ Today - Yahoo News UK
She loved him until the end.
I was scared of men, in general
Its mostly always from childhood abuse .
Do girls ever miss their first love?
Its like, taking poison, and hoping the other person will die.
I forgave my father, and i took care of him ,until his death in 1999..my mum left us on the 29th Jan 1998.
It will be my last birthday ,as im dying of a brain tumor and 8 other autoimune diseases.
How night lizards survived the asteroid that ended the dinosaurs - Phys.org
He call us down, from where ever he stashed each one of us ,that day ! We were kept seperate.!
But im a psyci anyway, and i read energy and people, .
Yes, a stroke or heart attack is the reason on your death certificate.
Novel coating shields iron from rust with 99.6% efficiency - Phys.org
One of his many names for me was Runt .He like that it rhymed with (well you know)
Also my liver and lungs are fatally diseased!
I was seconnd youngest,
What are some K-Pop group names that sounds pretty?
He said i’d end up like her, and he laughed his big rolicking bear of a laugh!
I said to her
I had many talking therapys , but they just don,t work.
Jennifer Garner smooches boyfriend John Miller at charity event in rare PDA moment - Page Six
He was dying to do it , i knew.
My mum and dad in the seventies!
She wouldn,t have been !
WWDC 2025: iOS 26 Rumored Features - MacRumors
I was grabbed out of my mother hung upside down, and rushed up to the prenatal ward, to spend 4 mths alone, with, only medical staff.
And when you live in a life , of being terrified, and shocked, and permantly stressed; especially as a child born in to all this .
But it has taught me many things other people will , never know!
Meloni’s coalition taunts left from the beach as low voter turnout scuppers referendum - politico.eu
I never cut or harmed myself..
I forgave my father,, and in those years i cleaned and looked after him .
My twin will have involuntary pissed himself, but not me at least not, that day!
The administration’s anti-consensus Mars plan will fail - SpaceNews
Anyway, i told my husband ,and he was gobsmacked.
He did pay me though, i made him (.After i’d trudged miles to get his pension ) Before ,it all was gone, over the pubs counter!
I was very sick at this time too.
It was going to be , some day.
Insight, and i can spot a wrongin from 3 miles away.
My life is so biszare .
Was to survive, this bastard.
Thats was my nicest nick name for him
Its a big thing in the States for the last 25 years.
She married twice! .
And i lived it daily.
As his daughter ,he didn’t even think I wouldn,t do it. (Look after him)
I did it because my mum asked me too!
So whats the point in blame.
And as runt ,of the litter .Which of course, i actually was!
The only rule us 5 kids had .
I write beautiful poetry .
But im an empath, and i help lots of people.
He’d sit me down, and stand behind the chair, Then he’d make a great show of his beauty (the chesil )and place it behind my neck ,at the base!
I might have to go back 30 generations or more..
I let him have the joy of his friends( that i would never know myself.!)
And who doesn’t know suffering?
He was a brick layer (when he worked at all) and he carried his tools around ,hanging from a money belt.
19 years ,i spent with dear old papa.
And i know him well ,and every thing about him. This relationship, is the only real one iIve been able to keep!
And don,t forget my 4 months alone, in the incubator. Knowing my brother in the womb and my mother voice .The baby knows she’s alone!
He had many friends, who didn,t know the home devil he was, for his sake ,i never enlighted them either.
She said her life with him ,was love, and spoke to me of all the passion, it had brought her.
I think the readers, may guess!
Trauma lives in the body, as ive explained, but it actually this that kills you in the end.
The coal was sharp, and i usually had no underware! So my bare arse ,was cut and rossened on the coal..
I waited trembling.
One women pretended to my husband she wanted to see me for coffee ,and make friends.
As i said though i will be 64 on my last birthday!
Being very nice and never wanting to say the wrong thing.
You don’ t get a state one here , in England ? until your at least 67 yrs old ! Im 63.
It comes from Big T Trauma and is no fault of anyone who has it.
They are buried together, in the same grave..
Ther’s very good reasons why i was left alone.
Why do we forgive? Because if we don,t
Why ? because Trauma depletes the immune system.you get terribley ill , with chronic disease from all the horror ,and stress of it.
I was the most vunerable of my siblings. I was born small ,and was sickly ,and of course none of us could ever thrive!
So, i spoilt her more .
Rather to engertic for me ,with my terrible health, but i was left to run the house, it was a Cottage in Dorset.
Your thinking ,but those kids would have been street wise?
One was a lump hammer, another was a iron chisel.
Because huge Trauma like mine is alive.
I had hoped to write a book about this .
I was 9 years of age.
I did write a poem about him though, and my mum.
Took her away on holiday ,with us, my 2 pugs her dog, a Jack Russell.
Then later on when my husband had gone to the bar..she started telling me, that they where having a affair, and that he loved her much more then me ,and other loads of visious lies.
Im kind ,and give many things, inc money ,to any of persons in need. I have a groups of homeless beggars ..i help out daily. They all know me by name!
He isn,t a very sexual person at the best of times!
I have no regrets .
At this time i had honed my heart to the same, as that of a lion and i knew i wouldn’t beg or cry ,nor plead.
Mine was extreme ,and lasted 19 years
Youll pack your bags and leave Dorset.
I suffer greatly, because of BPD..
I am a twin , my twin is a boy called Alan. I had a sister and 2 other brothers
She was deluded, and thought she could stay on for the reminder of the holiday!
So i became my fathers slave and he hated me the most.
The apprentership one gets in Extreme Big T Trauma childhood is insight and extreme awarness.
Im a true spealist, because i study it for years .And i still do..
I wasn’t taught any boundries, our home ,was like any war zone , and Dad told us, he had bodies buried, under the floor boards.
Comes on , in middle age.
Her first husband, had been a gay man ,and he was a lovely person.
Where the ultimate outsiders.
Those are used to try and block the pain, like that of my life out..
Thats being isolated in a house, locked up as a child .We never saw any people except in School and we had no relatives in Liverpool!
My dad was a alcholic psychopath, and violent in the extreme.
His mum and dad ,were Alcoholics!
But ive been too sick for many years..
Im still living with it.
When he wanted one of his lessons to be taught!
I was writing from the time i was a small child.
We were all going out this night to a fancy resteraunt.
All the time i was locked up.
I couldn’t, believe it.
She found it foreign!.
Trauma never leaves you! Its actually lives in the fashia ,of the body .The connective tissue.
But i went to school ,and was locked up evey evening , until he was off out on a bender..then mum would set us free, and we,d be bouncing off the walls,
But im dying ,and its too late for me.
Ive learnt so much.
One cannot live in the past .
The same beautiful brown eyes my mother loved so much!
The only way to get rid of it forgood ,is sommence therapy,
And, all my friends down the years ,where users.
Although we always gave her a kiss on the cheek. She would shrink away from it!
My mother wasn’t a tactile women ..only as babes could she touch us. After we grew ,she couldn,t touch any of us.
Like some twisted love , they where addicted to each other
But people really die of the Big T Trauma!!
On the 31st of Jan this month .
Then he’ d take out his beloved lump hammer ,show it to the kids.
We didn’t no it wasn;t normal life..we were isolated, and taken from Dublin in Ireland ,where our whole mothers family lived , to Liverpool in England!
We wern’t close any more, the family fractured, after my Mothers death, and seeing me annoyed them ,as i was the familys scapegoat..
I will be 64.
So he went home with my mum to her 2 other children.
My only sister also couldn,t make her life work.
She got all dolled up, but it looked as she was dressed up to play the part of , Florence Nightingale ,as she descended down the cottage stairs ,like a Queen.
He knew the spot.
5 of us kids, and it wasn’t a big house.
He took out the hammer, and explained again, how the smallest tap ,of this hammer would kill me in a second.
A line in front of him, from the eldest to the youngest.
As is all addictions, people can’t leave off.
With Catholic nuns and Church on Sundays.
She was in good health!
My place (mostly )was the coal hole..it was a small room heaped with coal .
My family never makes their pension either.
Because , i didnt have the heart to hurt my friend.!.
Even in the coal hole, i said the lines in my head..
He weighed in at 5 lbs .I was the second born, and i weighed 3 and a half pounds.
Everytime, i saw a chronically ill person in middle years.
We born here on earth , for the soul to learn , the contrast, of heaven.
As i gave and gave ,everything to people, they began to use me.
Im dying but, im not bitter.
That life, was meant to be , as the world teaches us great lessons, and leaves us many gifts.
I got to know the terrible awful childhood, he had himself. And his Jolly Pub Persona.
I watched his eyes light up and his twisted smile rejoice, in his joy of it all.
But, we were locked up after school.
As she had lost her son ,to fatty liver disease!
When she asked me how she looked .
For him, I cleaned and cooked and shopped, and spent the whole day, doing a weeks work) in the only day off, i had, besides Sunday.)
I only stopped writing poetry recently, because , of my brain tumor
I know ,a lot about trauma.
Anyway ,i could never hold on to a relationship.
I could never make a relationship work though!
But he said ,he was sick of her anyway ,and only put up with her as i had a friend ,and seemed to be happy.
We were not on the streets..
Do all the shopping, and cooking and look after all the dogs.
He said i reminded him of an old aunt ,who used to beat him, and when the menapause came, she was placed in a mental home and never was released ,until she died.
Who then, do I blame.?
Im constanly in a state of FLIGHT or FIGHT my whole life
I worked then as a chef ,and a very good one.
She was a women, a mother with her own children!.
My familys so full of ancestral BIG T Trauma.
She died young (from the stress and abuse of Big T Trauma) of liver cancer!
Especially a lifetime of it.
Put me off passion for life!!
He resisted the act ,that day.
But my sister and my other 3 brothers wouldn’t have come near him every again!
What did i know ?
This is soul school!.
BPD only comes to a person who has suffered childhood trauma.
.I left my 2 sons and my husband to do it. Instead of spending the day with them
As i do to all so called friends.?
I had offered the whole expense of the holiday to her, free.
I of course replied” arh beautiful!
They look at me amazed ,and ask me how i could possibly know it?
Another so called friend had bit the dust..
I immediatly know and see what their chidhood was. I tell them you had a awful time in childhood.
And if you hold on to hate you only die inside yourself,!
But i am married 43 years to my husband this July !
(And it was in our own minds.)
I ended up cooking for her, and bringing her eveywhere with us.
We could never speak unless he spoke to us!
You’d think that being brought up for so long, in those terrible circumsatances ,i would know the ways of people ,and the world, but i wasn,t in , nor of the world .
Would this be the day?
Why did i forgive my father ?
I don,t even have a pension.
She died at 55 of colon cancer.
Although he,d calmed down a bit ..he still shouted his orders at me and thought , my older sister would be better at the job..
And ive living now since 2005, on disablement .(Which is a pittance)
But there where , these other acts only us 2 girls, would receive, (When id have rather had his lump hammer , and chisel.).
She stayed with him because she thought he,d grow out of it. He didn’t of course!
His abuse (his own) began at 2 years of age. His mothers friend, sexually abused him, from the age of 2.
I do have abandomment issues but they come from being left alone ,without my mum, or any of my family in a incubator for 4 months.